Friday, April 27, 2007
2:21 PM
Currently using the computer in school, my new school... The innovative polytechnic...
Yah rite... The innovative polytechnic =_= .So well... My life here...
Cant say much actually [since now my viewers include my poly students]
Sigh sigh
What else can there be other than lecturers trying desparate to deter us from the course [So as to decrease the number of final, competent graduates?] "The industry is small" as said... "Do you have what it takes?"
They are making me depressed, playing mind games, a battle of wits, originality and understanding and so much more unseen and not pharsed in words. Those are nothing you ever knew. I guess you happy junior college students can ever get my life now, especially in design... Don't butt me, I hav been a junior college student before, I know what it is like... Although you may justify yourself to be "more busy, more than ever stressed." Wait until you get a feel of being thrown into the cruetly of society in my age than you tell me how it is like. From outside, it may seem happily ever after... Yes, it is HAPPILY EVER AFTER if you are the best, but in many a case, who is? Not me folks. Its a cruel world of needing to satisfiy needs.
Your needs.
You can't understand, and don't try. It makes me even more pissed. You'll never understand no matter what you say unless you can be with me.
And what makes poly life worse?
Myself.
Really. What else do you expect me to say? Whatever you do can only influence and most likely influence yourself. Don't question my maturity. It's just that I am truly experiencing the FULL blast now. And its nothing like what I've expected...
But I am not depressed. Not yet anyway... I still have a certain amount of faith in myself [although its like decreasing like crazy now] I am changing into someone more shaped by reality, more, different, and maybe somwhere down the road in life you may not even regconise me...
I mean it.
To be thrown into an uncertain future is more clear to me than ever now. Yours is not as blur. Not as, as compared to mine. If you think yours is the saddest life yet, I strongly advise you to keep your words, really.
And as compared to the others with a certainty of high pay and a bright future with in the other courses in poly... You'll never understand my part as well.
There is no definite way.
There is no incentives.
You can't survive without passion
You can't survive with a strong sense of pride
The only thing you get is self-satisfaction, if your work gets accepted at all.
How big are the chances for a rookie? One in a million?
How big are your chances in the future after graduation? If you actually graduate?
Two in a million.
I am not kidding
That's why you don't meet an artist every corner you turn. And not one that has a diploma that specialises in it.
Not one that is NOT freelance.
Not one that depends all his/her life on whatever the brain can churn out. Not study, memorise, or in any other way can be actually a method to sucess.
Just like there is no way to fully understand humans
There is no way to true success in design
If you ever find a book with that title, I suggest you to junk it in the bin immediately. Really.
Take it as doing a favour for the library, bookshop or whatever.
If you are not convinced, then can I ask you, have you actually fully explored every part of yourself? Physcially, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, whatever-ally? I can definitely tell you that you cannot, and no one has ever. [Well excluding your god of course] If you could clone yourself,make someone with the same EVERYTHING. Then good, Keep that book with that title.
If not, stop thinking that my life is a HAPPILY EVER AFTER, or something close to that.
[wobbles]
