Tuesday, May 30, 2006
10:38 PM
Until today do I realize I am finally truly alone
I am sorry I have taken all that for granted.
So many times I would have walked that lonely corridor alone, yet you were there.
So many times I walked down the same stairwell, to find you beside me.
So many times I have avoided your sight, to think that I’ll see it some other day.
So many times were you beside me, yet I have missed you as a guide.
So many times I found you
Silently nourishing
Silently following
Only to find you gone do I realized what sins and hurt I have inflicted.
To think you would never remind me to blog again
To think you would not be with me there through the rain
To think you would not be there to silently listen to me speak during breaks.
If there is something left for to thank in my life. I would be thanking the heavens to have met you.
I have no more embarrassment left in me to tell you how much I miss you.
I never thought I will miss you so much till my tears fell like the storm today.
I never knew I miss you so much that the lights will go away.
I never realized how much you cared for me until today.
Neglected you, silenced you, tormented you, and of all things forgot you.
Even the tears that fall like rain cannot redeem what such regret.
I am thankful for every afternoon you stayed with me.
I am thankful for every moment you looked at me.
I am thankful for every moment you waited for me.
I am thankful that your departure has made me grown.
Many thanks.
I wished that I could have asked a few more times that you will not leave.
Too late.
I can only wish the best and fate will allow us to meet again...
Without you, made me realize I am truly alone.
No one would bother if I left to eat.
Would stay with me till I go.
Would be there when I am all alone.
I am so stupid to only realize it only now.
Experience it only now.
But I would rather you not leave at the expense for my maturity.
Yet I know I really have taken you too much for granted.
I must let you go, before I sink in your goodness, or maybe I have already.
To have become haughty, self-centered and arrogant.
Yet you were always beside me, accepting someone like me.
I am so stupid to only realize now.
And experience its tribulations when you are gone.
Suddenly I realized the odd 39th would be me. Not TJL.
Indeed I am selfish.
I thank for your life. And hope that hope would sprinkle yours with blessings.
