Do you ever feel like this?

Time is passing by yet I cannot hold
Your friends become strangers
And you are the only one who cannot move on

Yes yes. I'm still stuck in this trap, sadly. It has been almost a year. It has been almost 10 years.

Who am I telling it to?

I read everyone else's blogs and an emotional pain overwhelms me.
I feel tears but my eyes are dry
I don't ever want to become immune to this pain.
Why?
You ask me why?
I don't really know myself

I was at the library re-reading all those books I have read before when I was still...
Still there.
Maybe I've got it at a long last
Maybe I should move on
Stop being a crybaby
Lingering in past joy and hopes
Comparing myself with every little thing I had

Fact is
None of this exists any more for me
I have held to the edge of it for very long already
Because it was very sweet
It now feels like murder to let go
But I have to
Like we all have to die

I wish you all the best
Every now and then we shall and can meet again
Reminsce the past
That will never come back
I love you all
I still do
And always will
And in the change of it all I shall keep on morphising
Into something you'll all be happy for
Someday

I'll bury this and leave the key in your hearts
Open whenever you wish
Whenever you want to remember
Someone like me

Love,
Luanie
Wobbles

Sorry I didn't realise I was tagged at all so lemme do this once and for all hey =)

1ST QUIZ

The "20 Qs n As " game
- Each player of this game starts off by giving 5 weird things about themselves.
- People who get tagged need to write in their blog of their own weird things as well, and state the rules clearly.
- In the end, you'll select 5 people to be tagged and list their names.
Here are my five weird things.

No.1) I think I'm weird.
No.2) I self-procrastinate that I'm weird.
No.3) I loudly and proudly announce that I AM weird.
No.4) Alas I think poeple think I'm weird.
No.5) I'm weird. Simply that.

][Its really none of my business right?][

1. Someone knocks on your door at 2am, who do you want it to be?

Kamii-sama =) Who else will I want? lalalalahaha>_<

2. Your boss tells you he/she will give you a $20 raise if you'll do your job naked, do you stay and take the raise?

Can I stay but not take the raise and decline the offer? Blah.

3. Put yourself in a nutshell.

I've never seen a nutshell before... [OH NO! I'VE NEVER SEEN A NUTSHELL BEFORE!!!] ...Wobbles around in panic...

4. Ever seen a ghost?

Hmm... Interesting question young lad, but elementary, my dear watson. To date in the scentific world there exists, nonetheless, the debate between the existence of the supernatural and specifically, to your present term of 'ghost'. No creature on this planet can give a definite explanation of whether this being 'ghost' can be seen in the first place. Do you mean me to tesifiy to its existence or do you merely question if a ghost can be seen? Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah [And how do you know you have seen a ghost when you don't know how a ghost should look like?]

5. Happy with your body?

I have to live with it anyway so I might as well be happy [Or change it to make me happy] But generally and so far I am MORE THAN HAPPY with this darling body of mine =) Satisfied?

6. Something about you?

I'm hungry right now in the middle of the night at 4 am? With sore shoulders and numb legs but no sign of sleepiness AT ALL

7. A place you wanna visit?

I don't really know. yet. But if you ask about where I am supposed to visit then it is another story =)

8. A job you'll never do, no matter how much you were paid?

One that will betray myself.

9. a band/group you thought was cool when you were 13? CLAMP [its a group what right?] *PS: I still think its cool*

10.you have a nightmare, who's the first person you think to call?

I'll assemble me, myself, and I, and luanie,

and Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah

to have a mega-big conference about my dream + dream intepretation + dream analysis +

Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah

Yeah you get it XD

11.wanna have kids before you're 30?

I don't ever wana have kids thank you very much unless I get enough money to adopt one! ^_^

12.a memory from sec school.

Everything is swimming up I find hard to keep dow. ARGH! [drowning in process] =D

The people. The place. The time. The memories.

13.ever had a crush on a friend's parent?

Oh yeah. There was this time Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah Blah Blah blah Blah Blah

And do you still want to know more?

14.do you look more like your mom or dad?

Strangely my dad [and I don't really enjoy it but oh wells]
I'm just born with it

15.something you've always wanted to learn to do?

Be myself

16.how you'd like your life to be in 10 years.

I get to choose how it will go? Que Sera.

17.something you learned this year?

Treasure your maps. It is really hard to make one I swear by my names.

18.what do you want for your birthday? Myself.

19.name 4 things u did yesterday.

Shopped.Dropped.Popped.Wowped

20. last item you bought yourself Zig-zag no. 6! Woo Hoo! >_<

Tagging:
1) Me
2) Myself
3) I

=D


2ND QUIZ

COMPLETE THESE SENTENCES.THE 20 SENTENCE CRAP!Tag 3 people to do the meme when completed. Oh. And NO tags backs.

Here it goes..

1. Love is: an obsessive game homo-sapiens give a name to.

2. I will always: be there even if you forget or abandon me

3. Forever: please never end.

4. I never want to: not recall you at my whimp and fancy.

5. My cell phone is: a shiny sapphire that I fail once and again to bring out its best.

6. When I wake in the morning: i forget its morning

7. I get annoyed at: every other thing I do

8. Parties are: something that maybe soon out of my life with the grades I currently own

9. My dog is: a cute cloth-made masterpiece [self-opinioned]

10. Kisses are the worst when: you don't wana kiss at all.

11. Today I am: Her random highness in regular mood swings

12. Tonight I will: try to sleep although much of the night is over

13. Tomorrow I will: do what I will

14. I really want: myself back again.

15. When I looked at myself in the mirror today: and i made a mental note [[damn the mirror needs dusting yeah -_-" ]]

16. I will drive my car: when i'm underage and I'm ready for an all out suicide-terrorist attempt

17. A word that rhymes with “PARK” is: blah i dun care <-translation ->[par ai run kark]

18. Bright or Dark Room?: Does it really matter? Can rooms give off light?

19. If I’m alone in a room with two beds, I: then i'll have to ask you why do you ask this.

20. The last thing I said to someone was: yo you must sleep! [mental note to self]

Now I tag:

1) Blah
2) blah blah
3) Blah blah blah





[Wobbles]

MY RESULTS ARE OUT!!! [woo hoo!]




















AND GUESS WHAT?!































I PASSED everything !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



















































Rights. Haha ><
Debbish msged me in the midddle of the night to remind me to check my results. So sweet. Thx deb ^_^ [luvs] haha. I passed! [Although I scraped through DF barely through the skin of my teeth] But hey!!! Haha. But after Debbish told me I need a GPA higher then 3 my face fell... I want to go uni. I mean. I go in with my results and I come out worse?! No way^_^ But this is for starters. More show's coming up. Watch it world! As long as I surpass myself. Nothing matters as much any more. Bring it on! [Shaking for the worse coming up?] What is life without challenges? Haha. And I do have a different starting goal in the first place. Its a case of following my heart to bring me there [treading on risky ground]

This doesn't mean the world to me but I guess its about time to bring it on! I still do feel a little out. Man I should have never known about the university part but then again. Emotions are so confusing but its them who put the "me" in "me".

My classmates should do better definitely. I guess. Maybe? Please no... Haha jkjk.

I went an all out shopping spree with huay huay today for make up. She needed them for work... Haha. So luanie went wobbling round many places to get the best lobang. And by lobang, I really mean L-O-B-A-N-G. Rox Sia haha +) And huay is such a fast and excellent learner despite everything else. Damn I hate to admit but she rox +)

And I bought zig-zag! Man I've been waiting like ages before the GST increase and it only comes on now? Blah! But its still do good! And even nicer of Hweein to remember and remind me to buy! Haha! >< MEGA FANS! Woo hoo!

And me going to visit my nephew tomorrow! wait... I mean today! But he lives so far. Like boon Lay lah. Aiyah. I guess I will be babysitting for the rest of my holidays. But what matters? Its my nephew I'm talking about! So adorable! Wahaha! Only like 1++ yr. Kawaii ne! And loves to bum his way around =) Haha so a lot of O-che on his head =^_^= Makes me really feel like an auntie.



My hair has grown to shoulder length now. I wonder who miss the "old" me? =) And who can regconise the "new" me?

There are so many things worth to be joyous about. Why do I still moan and sigh?
[Wobbles]

"Happy things may come to pass. But what matters most importantly to me, is you, as a whole."



=D Freedom belongs to those who dare to and endure. BANZAI!!!

Haha. Some kind of freedom. Spiritual freedom kings of 'em all [luv luvs ^_^]

I am now resigned to a fate of being a housewife. But what matters? I'm way happier then days ago at work! Really. I have taken the long way and am back to square one, but it makes me happier than ever, wiser than before. Which reminds me to hound my pay soon]] =D But that is another matter.

You hide behind a mask and curse as you please. Who are you? What are you? May I condemn you as I please as you have to me?

I finally understand about that part where happiness is a transient thing and not treasured to those who do not seek it, not caressed by those who own it, but desperate as a human in a desert to water as those who crave and desire for it. And I must be constantly and consistently reminded of this fact for my self-conceited brain.

I can repeat all of these over and over again in theory, but you do need to experience to put the 'x' factor in theory.

Do you get where I am going at all? Haha >_< Chim-a-lo-gy at work...
That is it.

From the free-hearted. Banzai! Banzai! Bazai! May my freedom live for a million years!

Some tests I've juz took [ for tidbits]:























[Wobbles]

NINE DAYS MORE TO THE RELEASE OF MY SEMESTRAL RESULTS!!!
I hope I won't have to beg the teachers to let me pass and take the modules I want =_="

I sort of promised I'll put this up so I'll make this fast coz I need some decent sleep XD

Me and godma went to the book fair [Singapore expo] food fair [Suntec] on last friday [I want go she bring me go so nice! >_<] and haha we had a hell of a time =)

There were so many thingys to buy poor godmama mel was so tempted to overspend for a rare time in my life [a sight to behold] * pity bookfair over* They had really nice thingys like beautiful classy stiched chinese cloth patterned notebook cover with a chinese coin and pretty korean letter paper, cute cards and poster, towel made into fizzy drink gifts, posh bin and of course a great indulgence of books to behold. Woe to those who were not there haha. I was there!

Then the food fair was like WOW so big and lots of food. First time seeing mushroom crisps [ godma mel bought] and i like e dried pineapple crisps best coz its dry and cruchy on the outside, sweet and moist and surprising inside! Hah! But then i no $_$ liao so bo bain... I ate like salmon-pachi, then laksa, then salmon and cod kebabs. It was nice when it was hot but then i was gorging so much i only had the chance to eat em cold but it was nice anyway [esp the sauce] and the best part is godmama treated me to the kebabs and some mushroom crisps! I love my godmama! [-Nudges daddy and mummy-]

Haha

Then on my way home i went high and made this crap of a song with my over-flowing crap which I can't really remember now so pardon me:

NOT FOR THE WEAK HEARTED
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Sue off your pants

I asked godmama once on who'll she'll marry
And she told this to wobbly luanie
I'll marry a guy
with white bleached hair
curly and swirly
and he must propse to me
with ribbon bows and a frolly

"Wobbles!" Luanie said
"Where can you find a handsome like that?!"
"I know! I know!"
[Wobble wobble]
I'll find you a dog
Mush its fur in bleach with socks!
And tie furry curlies all around
So you can't really tell its a hound
And for its barking
I will speak in its steed
That it [he] is speaking french indeed!

But won't you insult the french instead?
Nah nah. Never mind that
Nobody really knows what the french is speaking anyway
And you can't really bring your husband to court because
he speaks french you don't understand
Wouldn't it be lovely to marry a frenchman insteed?

Then what will happen to your children?
A cross-breed between hound and human
"I'll throw them in the lawn alright"
"And shut them out into the night!"
And your husband?
"He can join them too you know"

What if your husband sues
And your kids envy that other sane parents don't throw them out to the lawn?
...
Then I'll throw them into the basement instead!

They'll sue you till your pants come off!
This randomness popped out of luanie's mouth.
The worse is yet to come before your eyes.
Beware reader
For the oncoming

Then I forgot

What I said but then I knew my saliva lost control pretty frequently and I couldn't stop laughing and godma had to bear with all of these. Sorry XP

Edited somewhere and in some parts because the monster could not recall all that happened

[Ps: btw godma was warned so she's not seeing this. Are you folks affected in some way or another yet?]

Please do read on...


And other specials of course:


I went for my 1st day of work as a surveyor/draftperson/mapper/topographist and all the whatevers. Damn was it hard. i had to master a new software like between breakfast and luch, and what's worse I was so hungry my stomach was growling majorly loud in the office. Damn! And I cant concentrate without food -_-

My trainer was this 30 to 40 year old uncle in a faded polo shirt, double-chin and with a bit of unshaved beard and has a major addiction on coffee [Can you imagine yet?] and he was like going on and on about things [maybe it was his nagging that couldn't make me pick out the main points?] But it was not his fault for being like this. Its just me and my slow + complacent + tired + fogey brain

So the program is called... Err... Its called... Erm... [Oh shit I don't remember!] Yah XXX. Leave it as that for the time being then... Yah. Its a windows 95 version [OMGOSH imagine me with that] and its a rival of autocad [or something similar] so if you do know it please SAVE ME!!! yah <_< tag please =)

So i struggled with it all through the day spending 9 hours straight in that cold and gloomy + silent aircon room working [Its like an exam hall on there for all you hear is the mouse, occasional key board coz the program doesnt have much keyboard shortuts and an occasional shuffling/dropping of paper] The people are so much freaking older than me and everyone is so silent... Or talking to this really strict guy just behind me in languages I'm not yet master of. Is it me? I don't really think so... Maybe?

I totally stoned out in there although I was trying very hard to act busy and it was just a flop -_- but my trainer was rather pleased with my progress so I don't suppose I'm all that bad. But then my body had a real hard hell of a time in there... 9 hours non stop starring into a computer screen. I can definitely do with some help and a bit more warmth and a bit more personal space... The strict guy behind me can see my EVERY MOVE. How bad can this all get? I open windows media player. HE STARES. I open adobe reader. HE STARES. By the way its just a mention that those I have mentioned are the ONLY programs in the computer. No internet explorer. No msn. And a pathetic collection of 2 songs. How sad!

No wonder there is hardly any newcomer but me... And they all don't give me a damn. Its about time I am going to be a true loner all round the clock from now on unless some soul who is kind enough to read this and pity poor, me can [ PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU ] ask me out for lunch if the kind soul happen to be in Serangoon, paya lebar, macpherson area during my lunch [12:30 - 1:30]

I'm such a sucker. -_- crap.

Wonder how long can I hang on? I'm already worn out -_- Or should I work half-day for the rest of my holidays? Or laze at home?



[Wobbles]

Yo ho ho!

Another pathetic day! Yay! I depress people! Woo Hoo!

I'm like starting work next monday. And I don't know whether I can fit in or not... But I've always been a person who doesn't fit in anyway. Incapable and all. Long way to go... Sharks. I don't even know what is wrong with me... Damn ><

At first I didnt think much about it. But the more I thought the more weird the place seems... Will my fears be settled on the first day? Or will I be condemned to everlasting job agony? I'm like a side tune that doesn't fit with the mess of notes. Blah

Hope the food is nice. Or else its really hell

My brain is currently muddled and in a state of desperate emptiness. All I planned to do this week has been an utter naught. Will I be what I want to be after this holidays? Or will it be another waste of time? Who really knows...

Sighs. I'm like depressing myself

Head hurts now. I don't know what to do. I have like nothing to fill me up with. Everyone else is busy with their lives. Why can't I? Because I'm a pure sicko lazy pig =)

ARGH! There's like food fare waving to me from Suntec. But I can't go because its too far!!! WHY?!!! And my mum doesn't wanna go with me. Every soul else is busy... [I know I didn't consider every soul in the list but... Those people whose's presence I'm really deprived off can't be there for me] What's the point if I squeeze through those pathetic crowds alone in a vauge attempt to satisfiy what seems to be hunger but in actual fact a void of emotions?

Damn. I'm just letting off steam that is really non-existent... I guess I just have to be content with what I have right?



SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???!!!



I really don't feel like moving anymore
[Wobbles]

HELLO!

I'M BACK [after some serious tormenting]

HAH.

So my dear studio project has ended and lots of thingys happened in e past few days so for convinence's sake I shall make them in bullet points +D

STUDIO PROJECT

- DIE DIE DIE
- See the dejected faces of the teachers [Disappointed?I'm not too sure]
- My digitial art bacame vaugness
- My random sketches became a 'fine art perspective'
- Teachers laughed at my work
- Teachers scorned my colouring
- Teachers defended me
- My hair wasnt cooperative
- My hammie ended up being called a koala bear T_T [[WHY OH WHY?!]]

JOB HUNTING

- Because my dad and mum didnt want me stoning my youth away at home
- Because I want to be a little bit more independent?
- I went round the island due to my dad's recommendation
- Blah
- Employers thought I was being slave-drived [I leave the details to myself]
- Went for a 'hopeful' interview at this really weird place

Sighs. This is shit. I sound so weird

Yupz so for other details. Haha. I met 6 of our spectrum frenzzies for sha's bday and we ate at jack's place at TM. My god was that a weird meal. Hahah. Blast but I made sha a bag out of newsprint. I'm crazy but I was instructed to so I guess...

Anyways happie bday sha sha dearie!!! Love ya lots!

And mao-chan! Plus some other teacher's day gone wrong details Im not too interested to reveal
so we shall leave it as it is eh ^_^

Big loves to Oli, teh bing, m.a.g.e, godmama, cheryl-me-twin, huay huay, Jan, Shivan, Cherily~, Hweein [if you are reading this] and last but not least Steph-daddy as well!

OMGish I wan for us to go on a mega outing one day or something >_< missing you folks like crazy

And good luck for your promos! Shoo Shoo go mugg!



[Wobbles]

Found this on mel's blog so i tot i'll have a go at it... And it came out looking like:

Blah blah blah. haha


My neck to upper back area hurts damn lots. Too much work? Signs are quite evident. I woke up today and almost [as in like only 0.0001% left] fell sick. Running nose and a slight fever. I was praying so hard nothing would happen till the assesment was over. Its really "no day no night" for me.

But most probably its caused by myself so I have nobody to blame even though I am lk kinda desperate to blame someone. bloody. Preparing for a major all out illness coming up after the stroke of 4.40pm on Aug 30th. I bet. Sighs. It hardly comes out right =_=

Goodness gracious my com takes forever to do my assignments and I have to specially go back to seek help from the ever-so-unkind mac coms. Ahbish. haha learnt tt frm ying ^_^

I chanced upon so many people whilst rushing for school [and from school] today. But it never happens to be the people I really want to bump into. Nevertheless I am still glad to meet these people anyway. Definite joy I really missed you folks lots.

You don't know how much I'm missing you. Do you miss me too?

There are so many people seeking me, yet such a loser of a kind I am. Sorry to disappoint. But I still love you folks lots and lots. I swear by many things. Its driving me crazy and drafting my tears from my already highly-dehydrated body to the thought of you folks. Hell. Misery do befall on the deprive-hearted?

And I'm like trying to cure myself or else you'll may never see me healthy again so please do bear with it whilst I recover. It takes time so give me time. I make up by blog hopping but it seems like there are too many to hop with my already weakened body and high-rise schedules. I don't know how much more can I take. Its pure agony and a test of life.

If you do read this. I ask a favour of you. Pray for me that I wouldn't give out or black out before the real assesment date. I have a life's work and a swan song to finish.

Really love you folks lots and lots and may the higher power allow it, let us chance upon each other again.

[Wobbles]

Luanie THE GREAT
Random MONSTER
That Was 16very old
Dec26 1990
ex-SAC-ian
ex-SRJC-ian
NYP-ian

I am worth, $1606032
Ohoh and I like strawberries XP

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